[Adrian Monk]

Neinein, die Folge war heterofeindlich. :p

Jeder weiß doch das Motorboote das einzig Wahre sind. :>

Charlie: „My mom took my temperature the baby way until I was eight years old.“

Dr. Freeman: „Have you ever had sex with a man?“
Charlie: „No! No! Absolutely not! (Sighs) All right, I copped a feel once but I was drunk and he had breasts. „

Berta: „Hey, Alan, your mom called. She gave me the news.“
Alan: „Oh, God!“
Berta: „Come here. I’m proud of ya, Zippy! The world is a much happier place once you figure out whether you’re the pin or the cushion.“

Alan: „Come on, Charlie. You gotta admit, you put out a special kind of vibe.“
Charlie: „You don’t mean special. You mean special !“
Alan: „You’re 40 years old, you’ve never been married, you play the piano, you are meticulous about your appearance…“
Charlie: „Hey, hey, hey, hey! I’ve got a riding crop in my bathroom that never touched a horse.“
Alan: „Your bathroom also has two kinds of skin moisturizer, various hair gels, colognes, powders, and emollients.“

Charlie: „I think Jake has a thing for your boyfriend’s daughter.“
Alan: „He’s not my boyfriend. We’re friends.“
Charlie: „Alan, when an intelligent, successful, attractive man wants to be friends with you, something is amiss.“

Jake: „You smell like strawberries.“
Sophie: „It’s my lip gloss.“
Jake: „Does it taste like it smells?“
Sophie: „You wanna find out? „
Jake: „Sure!“
(Sophie leans in to kiss Jake, Jake uses a finger to wipe her lip gloss off, then proceeds to eat it)
Jake: „Mm!“

Greg: (Referring to gambling on ponies) „Yeah, it’s actually my second biggest expense after alimony.“

Greg: „So Charlie, I’m guessing by the stack of racing forms next to the can, you bet the ponies.“
Charlie: „Hey, I’d bet on rabbits if you could get them organized.“

Alan: „The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me. „
Charlie: „Really? Still?“

Alan: „You think I joined a support group to pick up women?“
Charlie: „No, I think you joined a support group cause you’re a whiny little wuss.“

(After Alan kisses Greg)
Greg: „Trust me, you’re not gay.“
Alan: „Okay.“
Greg: „You seem disappointed. „
Alan:“ I just…I feel like I’m letting a lot of people down. „
Greg: „Alan, it’s okay to be straight.“

Alan: „Your mom will be here any minute. I thought I told you to get ready.“
Jake: „I’m ready.“
Alan: „Did you do your homework?“
Jake: „No.“
Alan: „Jake, I promised your mother you’d have it done.“
Jake: „Well, next time you’ll know better. „

Charlie: „Berta. How long have you been working for me?“
Berta: „Define „working“?“

Charlie: „What’s going on?“
Alan: „Oh, I just have a friend over for my single-parent support group.“
Charlie: „Oh, yeah, unattached moms. I gotta check out that group.“
Alan: „You don’t have a kid.“
Charlie: „Are they really strict about that?“

[Autor]

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